Sextus Propertius: 'Among absent lovers, ardor always fares better.'

Among absent lovers, ardor always fares better.

Sextus Propertius, a renowned Roman poet from the 1st century BCE, once said, "Among absent lovers, ardor always fares better." This poetic quote encapsulates the idea that love thrives when the object of our affection is physically distant from us. While on the surface, this notion may seem counterintuitive, there is an underlying truth that can be explored through the lens of a philosophical concept known as the Absence Paradox.The Absence Paradox, a philosophical idea stemming from the concept of "the grass is always greener on the other side," suggests that the perceived value of something increases when it is out of reach or unattainable. In the context of love and relationships, this paradox asserts that the longing and anticipation created by separation can intensify the desire and passion between two individuals.When lovers are separated by distance, they are unable to experience the daily routines, shortcomings, and imperfections that come with being in close proximity. Instead, their perception of their loved one remains pure, untainted by the familiarity that often breeds complacency. This absence allows for the idealization and romanticization of the relationship, fueling the flames of passion and desire.Moreover, absence creates a void that requires filling. It stimulates the imagination, leading to a plethora of fantasies and daydreams about the absent lover. In these daydreams, lovers can project their desires and expectations onto their partner, constructing an idealized image that may not necessarily align with reality. This constructed image is often far more captivating and alluring than the actual person, further deepening the ardor between them.However, it is crucial to acknowledge the limitations of this paradox. While absence may kindle passion, it also poses challenges to the sustainability of a relationship. The inability to be physically present and actively participate in each other's lives can lead to feelings of loneliness, longing, and even doubt. The absence paradox only holds true if both parties actively maintain the connection and invest in the relationship.It is also important to note that the absence paradox does not apply universally to all relationships. Some individuals may find that distance strengthens their bond, while others may struggle with the lack of physical closeness. Ultimately, the impact of absence on love varies depending on the unique dynamics and personalities of the individuals involved.In conclusion, Sextus Propertius' quote, "Among absent lovers, ardor always fares better," sheds light on the intriguing idea that physical separation can enhance the intensity of love. When lovers are apart, the absence paradox comes into play, fostering a sense of longing, idealization, and heightened desire. While this concept can contribute to passionate connections, it is important to navigate the challenges posed by distance, ensuring that the relationship remains nurtured and supported. Love is a complex tapestry, intricately woven with the threads of presence and absence, and it is in finding the balance between these two extremes that we can truly uncover the depths of our ardor.