Anthony Trollope: 'Passionate love, I take it, rarely lasts long, and is very troublesome while it does last. Mutual esteem is very much more valuable.'

Passionate love, I take it, rarely lasts long, and is very troublesome while it does last. Mutual esteem is very much more valuable.

In his insightful quote, Anthony Trollope raises an interesting perspective on love and relationships. He suggests that while passionate love may be intense and exhilarating, it tends to be short-lived and can often bring about challenges. Instead, Trollope highlights the greater significance of mutual esteem in fostering lasting connections. This quote resonates with the notion that enduring relationships are built on a foundation of respect and appreciation, rather than solely relying on the intensity of passionate love. However, beyond this straightforward interpretation, let us delve into an unexpected philosophical concept to add an intriguing layer to the discussion.One philosophical concept that provides an interesting perspective on Trollope's quote is that of the "hierarchy of love." This concept, popularized by the Greek philosopher Plato, suggests that there are different levels of love, each with its own characteristics and degrees of importance. According to Plato, the lowest form of love is purely physical attraction, followed by a more emotional connection. Finally, at the highest level, lies what he calls "philautia" – self-love or self-respect. To better understand Trollope's quote, let us examine how these different types of love relate to his idea of passionate love and mutual esteem.Passionate love, as Trollope suggests, often burns brightly but ultimately fizzles out over time. Plato would place this type of love in the lower levels of his hierarchy, as it primarily revolves around physical attraction or infatuation with another person. While initially exciting, passionate love can be fickle, leading to heartache and disappointment when its intensity subsides. Moreover, its all-consuming nature can overshadow other important aspects of a relationship, making it indeed troublesome, as Trollope aptly states.On the other hand, mutual esteem aligns more closely with Plato's concept of an emotional connection and, to a certain extent, with higher levels of love. Mutual esteem is grounded in respect, admiration, and appreciation for one another's qualities and virtues. Unlike passionate love, mutual esteem is built on a deep understanding and appreciation of each other's values, goals, and aspirations. In this sense, it creates a solid foundation for a lasting relationship, one that can withstand the test of time. While passionate love may fade, mutual esteem has the potential to grow and evolve, nurturing a sustainable and fulfilling bond.While Trollope's quote emphasizes the value of mutual esteem over passionate love, it is crucial to note that both elements can coexist and complement each other in a healthy relationship. Passionate love, despite its temporary and sometimes tumultuous nature, can serve as a catalyst for initial attraction and excitement. It is the spark that ignites the flame. However, for a relationship to flourish beyond the initial infatuation phase, it must transition into a deeper connection founded on mutual respect, understanding, and admiration.In conclusion, Anthony Trollope's quote encourages us to reevaluate our notions of love and relationships. It reminds us that while passionate love can be exhilarating, it is often short-lived and challenging. Instead, Trollope suggests that mutual esteem, built on respect and appreciation for one another, holds greater value in cultivating lasting connections. By introducing the philosophical concept of the "hierarchy of love," we gain a deeper understanding of the different levels of love and how they relate to Trollope's sentiments. Ultimately, embracing both the intensity of passionate love and the stability of mutual esteem can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling romantic journey.