Michel de Montaigne: 'If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.'

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

Montaigne's quote, "If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love," suggests a unique perspective on the nature of successful partnerships. In essence, Montaigne is contending that the qualities that characterize a strong and lasting marriage are closer to those found in a deep friendship, rather than the intense passion often associated with romantic love. This invites further reflection on the fundamental components that underpin both friendships and marriages, highlighting the importance of shared values, mutual respect, companionship, and understanding in fostering enduring relationships.Delving deeper into this notion, it is intriguing to explore a philosophical concept that adds depth and complexity to the discussion: Aristotle's concept of philia, or "brotherly love." Aristotle distinguished between three types of friendship: friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure, and friendships of virtue. The highest form of friendship, according to Aristotle, is based on shared values, mutual respect, and a deep emotional bond that transcends mere utility or pleasure. This type of friendship, which he refers to as friendships of virtue, closely aligns with Montaigne's view of a good marriage as resembling a friendship.Comparing and contrasting the ideas of Montaigne and Aristotle sheds light on the notion that successful relationships, be they friendships or marriages, are grounded in a deep sense of connection, understanding, and compatibility. While romantic love may initially ignite the spark in a marriage, it is the enduring qualities of friendship—trust, communication, support, and companionship—that sustain the flames over time. In this sense, both Montaigne and Aristotle emphasize the importance of cultivating a sense of camaraderie and shared values in fostering meaningful and lasting relationships.By intertwining Montaigne's perspective on marriage with Aristotle's concept of philia, we gain a richer understanding of the dynamics that contribute to strong and fulfilling partnerships. Both philosophers underscore the value of building relationships based on genuine affection, respect, and companionship, rather than solely relying on fleeting emotions or passion. Ultimately, the quote by Montaigne serves as a poignant reminder that the essence of a good marriage lies in the deep connection and bond that mirrors the qualities of a true friendship, enduring beyond the initial stages of infatuation and into the realms of lasting companionship and mutual support.