Anne Sexton: 'It doesn't matter who my father was it matters who I remember he was.'

It doesn't matter who my father was it matters who I remember he was.

Anne Sexton's quote, 'It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was,' carries a powerful message about the subjective nature of memory and perception. In a straightforward interpretation, the quote emphasizes the significance of personal recollections over objective truths when it comes to defining the essence of an individual. It suggests that our memories and emotions shape our perception of others, regardless of their actual identity or actions.The quote highlights the complexity of human relationships and the impact of personal experiences on shaping our understanding of others. Memories can be selective, influenced by emotions, biases, and perspectives, and they may not always align with reality. In this sense, the quote encourages reflection on the role of memory in constructing our identities and relationships with others. It implies that our individual narratives and interpretations of the past hold more weight in defining our reality than external judgments or facts.To add an unexpected philosophical layer to this contemplation, we can introduce the concept of existentialist philosophy, particularly the idea of existential freedom and responsibility. Existentialism emphasizes the importance of individual choice, subjective experience, and the inherent absurdity of the human condition. In the context of Sexton's quote, existentialism prompts us to consider the freedom we have in shaping our own interpretations and memories of others.Existentialist thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir argued that individuals are ultimately responsible for creating their own meaning and values in a world without inherent purpose. Applying this perspective to Sexton's quote, we can view our memories and perceptions of others as an exercise of existential freedom. We have the agency to define and remember individuals in ways that align with our own values, emotions, and beliefs, regardless of external truths or expectations.By comparing and contrasting Sexton's quote with existential philosophy, we delve into a deeper exploration of the subjectivity of memory, identity, and relationships. The quote invites us to reflect on how our memories shape our understanding of others and ourselves, while existentialist philosophy challenges us to recognize the power of individual agency and responsibility in constructing our realities. Together, they invite us to embrace the complexities of human experience, memory, and perception, ultimately highlighting the richness and diversity of individual narratives in defining our existence.