Gustave Flaubert: 'But the disparaging of those we love always alienates us from them to some extent. We must not touch our idols; the gilt comes off in our hands.'

But the disparaging of those we love always alienates us from them to some extent. We must not touch our idols; the gilt comes off in our hands.

In Gustave Flaubert's thought-provoking quote, "But the disparaging of those we love always alienates us from them to some extent. We must not touch our idols; the gilt comes off in our hands," he delves into the intricate dynamics that can arise within relationships. This quote highlights a profound truth – when we criticize or belittle those we hold dear, it tends to create distance between us and them. Flaubert suggests that placing our loved ones on pedestals and idolizing them can be equally detrimental, as the metaphorical "gilt" that adorns them eventually fades away, leaving us disillusioned. While this straightforward interpretation already carries significant weight, let us embark on an unexpected philosophical journey to further explore the complexities beneath the surface of these words.Flaubert's quote speaks to the human tendency to idealize those we love, often attributing them with qualities and virtues beyond their true nature. We may project onto them our own dreams, aspirations, and desires, forming an image that perfectly aligns with our expectations. However, the danger lies in forgetting that our loved ones are, ultimately, human beings with flaws and imperfections. When we place them on a pedestal, we set an impossibly high standard, one they cannot help but fall short of eventually. It is as if we grasp at the gilded exterior of our idols, only to find the substance beneath lacking the same allure.But why do we engage in this idolization in the first place? Perhaps it stems from our innate longing for something greater than ourselves, an object of adoration and inspiration to aspire to become. We yearn for a sense of purpose and direction, and in our quest, we often look towards our loved ones to guide us. Flaubert's quote forces us to confront the consequences of this idolatry. By placing our loved ones on a pedestal, we inadvertently create a chasm between our idealized perception and their reality. This divide can lead to disappointment, resentment, and ultimately, the alienation Flaubert speaks of.Yet, Flaubert's words also carry a dual message – a subtle reminder about the inherent beauty found in cherishing our loved ones as they are, without the need for idolization or disparagement. Instead of focusing solely on their virtues or vices, we should embrace the entirety of their being. By accepting their flaws and imperfections, we allow our relationships to grow and mature. This requires us to acknowledge that no human can live up to the ethereal standards we often place upon them.In essence, Flaubert urges us to approach our relationships with humility and authenticity. We must recognize that the individuals we love are not vessels for our projections or ideals. They are multifaceted and complex beings, deserving of our respect, understanding, and compassion. By doing so, we can bridge the gap of alienation and foster genuine connections built on acceptance and love.In light of Flaubert's profound quote, we are confronted with the paradoxical nature of our human relationships. We must resist the temptation to idolize or disparage our loved ones, as both paths inevitably lead to alienation and disillusionment. Instead, let us tread the middle ground, holding them gently, acknowledging their flaws, and nurturing a connection based on authentic appreciation. By doing so, we can preserve the irreplaceable bond that exists between ourselves and those we cherish, allowing the true beauty of our relationships to flourish.