Elizabeth Gaskell: 'A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.'

A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.

In her poignant quote, Elizabeth Gaskell encapsulates the essence of effective and compassionate parenting. She suggests that wise parents recognize the innate desire in their children for independent action. By acknowledging and encouraging this yearning, parents can foster an environment that allows their children to grow and develop their own sense of autonomy. However, Gaskell adds an insightful twist to her statement by emphasizing that parents should be prepared to transition from the role of absolute ruler to becoming a friend and advisor when the time comes. This concept, when viewed through a philosophical lens, offers a fascinating perspective on the evolving dynamics of parent-child relationships.At first glance, Gaskell's quote seems straightforward – parents who allow their children to exercise their independence are wise. It conveys the importance of nurturing a child's desire to explore and make decisions for themselves. By supporting independent action, parents not only help build their children's confidence but also allow them to develop valuable life skills, such as problem-solving and decision-making.However, beneath the surface lies a more profound philosophical concept. Gaskell's quote hints at an idea that can be traced back to the ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle. According to Aristotle, the ultimate goal of parenting is to raise children who possess the capacity for rational thought and moral reasoning. This perspective suggests that the purpose of a parent's authority is to guide, teach, and mold their children into self-governing individuals capable of making sound choices.Drawing a parallel between Gaskell's quote and Aristotle's philosophy, it becomes evident that wise parents understand that their role is temporary. They recognize that their authority, like the guardrails on a bridge, is meant to be loosened and eventually removed, allowing their children to navigate life's complexities independently. This idea aligns with Aristotle's belief that a virtuous and fulfilled life is one in which an individual exercises self-control and self-direction.The contrast between the two perspectives lies in the timing and execution of the transition from ruler to advisor. Gaskell's quote suggests that parents should be aware of the right moment to relinquish their tight grip on authority and gradually assume the roles of friend and advisor. This timing will differ for every child, as they develop at their own pace and face different challenges.Aristotle, on the other hand, sees the transition as a gradual process that occurs through years of teaching and mentoring. Parental authority is not relinquished abruptly but refined and shaped over time. The parent's wisdom lies in knowing when to provide guidance and when to step back and allow their child to make his or her own choices.Ultimately, what both Gaskell's quote and Aristotle's philosophy emphasize is the necessity for parents to recognize that their children are individuals with their own thoughts, desires, and capabilities. Offering the space and encouragement for independent action demonstrates trust and respect, establishing a foundation for an open and communicative relationship.In conclusion, Elizabeth Gaskell's insightful quote highlights the importance of embracing a child's desire for independent action. By doing so, parents can not only aid their children's growth and autonomy but also prepare themselves for a transition from rulers to friends and advisors. Examining this concept through a philosophical lens reveals intriguing connections to Aristotle's teachings on raising virtuous individuals. Wise parents understand that their role is temporary and that true success lies in equipping their children with the capacity for independent thought and decision-making.