Meaning of Boyfriends by Phoebe Bridgers

In Phoebe Bridgers' song 'Boyfriends', the overall theme revolves around relationships and self-reflection. The song explores the complexities of individual identities within the context of romantic partnerships. It delves into the emotional and psychological struggle of trying to save and change a partner, while simultaneously grappling with self-blame and the search for personal redemption. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of these themes and offer multiple layers of interpretation.One standout lyric in the song is, "She's out on the back deck, talking to her marigolds, sitting in a sundress, listening to bands nobody knows." This line encapsulates the character's desire for connection and intimacy. The act of talking to plants and listening to obscure music symbolizes a longing to find understanding and solace in unconventional places. It suggests that sometimes, even when surrounded by people, one may feel a profound sense of loneliness and seek refuge in simple pleasures.Another important lyric is, "But you're not gonna go back, you never liked the freezing snow." This line carries a double meaning. On one level, it speaks to the reluctance to return to a past relationship because of the pain and discomfort it brings. However, on a deeper level, it symbolizes the fear of facing one's own inner struggles and emotional hardships. The freezing snow represents the cold truth that one must confront and embrace in order to grow and move forward.The chorus goes, "You always wanna save them, you think that you can change them, I think you're blaming yourself. But you say the medication, it helps." This chorus delves into the complexities of codependency and the desire to rescue others. It explores the belief that one can save their partner from their own struggles and change them for the better. Simultaneously, it touches upon the self-blame that often accompanies failed attempts at fixing others. The mention of medication hints at seeking external solutions for personal and emotional difficulties, uncovering the theme of searching for temporary relief while avoiding deep introspection.In the verse, "Calling in the morning, asking me to analyze your dreams. What happened to your boyfriend? You don't think about him when you sleep, I guess that's why you're sleeping. I guess that's why you're gardening, back out on the coast again, looking for a second chance." This verse explores the longing for understanding and the desire to be needed. The act of analyzing dreams symbolizes the need for validation and significance in another person's life. However, the realization that their partner is absent from their subconscious reveals the aching void in the relationship. The act of gardening portrays the constant search for growth and renewal, a metaphorical journey to find oneself. The longing for a second chance demonstrates the persistent desire to mend past mistakes and find redemption.Overall, 'Boyfriends' beautifully captures the complexities of relationships and the internal struggles that often come with them. The lyrics offer a multitude of imaginative and unexpected interpretations, interweaving themes of loneliness, growth, codependency, and the quest for personal healing. Through its introspective storytelling, the song invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences and emotions within the context of love and self-discovery.