“You’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes” - analysis of “mirrorball” by Taylor Swift
I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
I'll get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break it's in a million pieces
Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I can change everything about me to fit in
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten
Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
And they called off the circus
Burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses
And the rodeo clowns
I'm still on that tightrope
I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me
I'm still a believer but I don't know why
I've never been a natural
All I do is try, try, try
I'm still on that trapeze
I'm still trying everything
To keep you looking at me
Because I'm a mirrorball
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself
Tonight
“Mirrorball” from Taylor Swift’s 2020 album "folklore" is a song ripe with symbolism and emotional complexity that touches on themes of self-identity, performance, and relationships. The song's protagonist depicts themselves as a "mirrorball," an emblem that is reflective, dynamic, and delicately fragile. This striking metaphor represents a person who adapts to their surroundings and displays varying aspects of their identity based on the observer's perceptions.
"You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes / Spinning in my highest heels, love / Shining just for you" - this lyric is intriguingly loaded with symbolism. The "tallest tiptoes" and "highest heels" invoke an image of someone stretching themselves to their limits, perhaps trying to attain an ideal that is just out of reach. The speaker is performing - striving, spinning, shining - all in an effort to be seen and loved. The repetition of these lines throughout the song reinforces this desperate performance for attention and validation.
A central theme in the song is the idea of performance, specifically performing one’s identity in a relationship. This theme is evident in phrases such as “I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight”, “I can change everything about me to fit in” and “I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me.” Here, Swift is implying a romantic relationship where one party is constantly performing to retain the interest of the other. This performance is not just about the speaker's personal presentation, but also their capacity to reflect the observer's idealized version of themselves.
Swift’s use of the mirrorball as a metaphor brings an additional layer of complexity to the song. A mirrorball, or disco ball, is an object that reflects light in many directions, creating a dazzling and disorienting effect. By likening herself to a mirrorball, the speaker suggests that they are not just mirroring a single image, but reflecting a multitude of versions. It's a role that requires constant change and adaptability, possibly leading to a loss of self in the process.
The mention of the masquerade, the circus, and the disco further deepens the performative theme. The masquerade signifies a place where everyone wears a mask and no one is their true self. Similarly, the circus and the disco are settings where spectacle and performance are the main attractions. Yet when the disco is burnt down and the circus is called off, the speaker is still on the tightrope and the trapeze. Even when the performance spaces are gone, the speaker can't stop performing. It's a compelling statement about the inability to escape one's performative habits, even in the absence of an audience.
In terms of literary and cultural tropes, the song is reminiscent of works that explore themes of self and identity in a relationship. It echoes the sentiment in Jean-Paul Sartre’s “No Exit” where the characters are trapped in a room, forever performing for each other, embodying Sartre’s famous quote, "Hell is other people." It also calls to mind Virginia Woolf's "Orlando," a novel about a character who lives for centuries, changing their gender and identity according to their circumstances, much like the speaker in the song.
In conclusion, "Mirrorball" presents a deep exploration of identity performance within a relationship. The song's protagonist is a mirrorball, constantly spinning and shining, reflecting various versions of themselves to please the observer. The speaker is on their tallest tiptoes, trying desperately to fit into the mold that the observer desires. The repetition of the performance, even when the observer isn’t present, suggests a deeply ingrained habit of performative identity that persists beyond the existence of a relationship. Through these layers of symbolism and metaphor, Swift constructs a poignant narrative of identity, performance, and relational dynamics.
